I've already mentally started preparing for the coming months and the ensuing rude comments. Last time around, I was told and asked many things that most would only think their very rude, very cranky, and very old grandmother could get away with saying. So, in an effort to combat further rudeness after the initial rude thing is said, I have already prepared a response.
"I'm having triplets." That should not only stop them, shock them, and hopefully knock their socks off, but shut them up. They will then stop thinking how incredibly large I appear to be to them and quit looking at me with something of horror and fear for my well being, but will instead look at me in a whole new light. They will have awe, respect, even reverence for me. There thoughts will completely do a 180 as they think about how impressively small my enlarged abdomen and over extended uterus is for being a warehouse to three little adorable life-sucking parasites. I won't stop there though. I have a whole back story to go with this. I want to elaborate, embellish, have them begging for more. By the time I am done with them, we will both be walking away, me with pee streaming down my legs from both laughter and the fact I have apparently not been doing enough Kegels, and them with tears running down their cheeks with a great admiration and respect now fostered for my courageous self.
I am committed to not being offended this time around by any and all comments and completely laugh it off, or burden the rude offender with a tale of my tripleting woes.
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